Love and Joy

On Valentine’s Day our thoughts turn to love. Not the casual “I love pizza,” “I love that truck,” or “I just love Instagram!” No, our thoughts turn to the people who mean the most in our lives. People who fill us up just by being in their presence, who make us better versions of ourselves. Celebrating that love is what it’s about.
 
There’s a similar relation between happiness and joy. Happiness is about pleasure, a feeling of the moment, a reaction to someone or something they said or did. Joy, on the other hand, is a state of being. When you feel joy in another’s presence, you cherish that person because they are important to you in a genuinely meaningful way; not just in a fleeting moment but as part of who they are at their core.
 
I believe that one of the goals in life is to find joy, rather than pursue fleeting happiness and cheeriness. In the same way, I value those who I love because they bring meaning to my life. Spending time with them is the greatest gift of all.
 
But, when it comes to objects – stuff – how do you separate the shallow “I love The Beatles” from “this collection of all of The Beatles albums truly sparks joy”?
 
“Spark Joy”® is a trademark of organization maven Marie Kondo and the name of her current Netflix miniseries. As the author of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” she suggests several ways to find if an object ‘sparks joy.’ When you touch it, does it bring a thrill of delight? Do you get a sense of electricity course through your body? If so, that is the spark of joy. That’s what you want more of in your life!
 
Does holding an item bring up memories of how you feel when you wear it or use it – and are those positive? Or are you reminded that it was a wedding gift you’ve never used or an outfit you were excited to buy but never wore? Maybe it’s a stack of books you’ve been meaning to read for years but haven’t gotten around to. If so, those items are weighing you down with a sense of guilt (it was a gift), regret (I spent good money on that), and/or a sense of obligation (if I’m going to be well-read, I should read those books). That creates stress, takes up valuable space and gives a home to a nagging distraction.
 
Let them go. Declutter your life of objects that do not bring you joy. Let go of guilt, regret, and other negative feelings that weigh you down. Hone your joy-seeking skills and you’ll find a clearer path to the ideal lifestyle you cherish. And when you do that, you’ll be more clear about what you really want out of life and can make room to share it with the ones you truly love.
 
Go ahead – spark joy!